Static

Mindless chatter.
Cars whizzing by
Buzz of electricity
Honking horns
and 7 billion people filling their  their brains with things they think are important.
What we use as our definition of higher intellect,
or how we differ from a monkey or a pig is our ability of organized communication. Even this "Miracle", evolution has bestowed upon us we have turned into an over used past time, as usual. Most of the things we babble on about is useless material. What we did the night before, stories from our childhood, who's going out with who, the newest book/ TV show/ vine, or the make-up routine we had used that day. Some sort of "entertaining" piece of drama our brains could latch onto and become absolutely enthralled with. These minuscule topic fill up our brain and consume all of our attention making it appear that what we say has some impact on anything, somehow. We think what we were saying is important and we misuse the gift of advanced communications. Bee's have hundreds of dances and movements to represent there alphabet. Can you imagine humans dancing around all the time and the complexity and the confusion if someone were to slip up. How impatient we would become from the long and drawn out movement to represent water. When now we can just breathe CO2 through our voice boxes to say 2 simple syllables "wa-ter". Would we even be the humans as we know it if we did not have the communication we do? I don't think we would. I think Americans are very un-thankful for what they are given and are naturally a pessimistic people. But the simple things that people skip over are the things that shape us. But those are also the first to be forgotten.

Metaphors... yayyyyyyy

Some people in my school are extremely interesting to observe. Coming to school for me is like going to the zoo. You walk in there are a bunch of different enclosures and houses to go and see. Then there's the visitors, like me, watching. The people who aren't caged in by the electrical fence of the student hierarchy. Fitting in nowhere and everywhere. On my left you will see the lions den. The one's that looked adorable at a younger age so they're the crowd favorite now. But make no mistake, if their fence was taken down they would bite your head off in two seconds; no doubt about it. Walking in their specific prides and attacking anyone who they find a threat. Lying in the shade for most of the day, doing nothing, mostly grooming themselves in ea. other but starving themselves with knowledge at the same time. On your right you see the monkey house. Full of fun loving monkey's jumping all over the place having a great 'oll time eating and throwing poop at eat other but don't look through the glass funny or join the fun and throw some poop. Oh no, that isn't tolerated. The little smiling facade will melt away leaving them literally, going ape-shit. In front of you there's the reptile house. "That's were they keep the animals no-one really likes all that much" the zoo keeper would say as he walked in front of you. Every creature there usually just sits and sun bathes itself stoically looking weird and eating their crickets contently. I usually sit and watch these the most because i relate the most to them then any other animal here. As i walk through the reptile house i come upon the Bird Sanctuary connected in the back. This is full of loud chirping birds, who wouldn't think twice on shitting on you walk under neath them. Making all their noise, showing off, but truly they feel just as threatened as you do when a bird lifts his tail feather. I usually try and avoid this part of the zoo because no matter how hard i try, i usually get a good helping of shit squarely on my cardigan. The elephants are loud and big and know this fact, they own this fact. Very confident creatures and that is a good characteristic for any animal to want to reproduce with. Also the elephants announce the whole affair to everyone. It would be a crime if an elephant had sex and didn't alert the whole zoo. There's a few emu's and llama's that are not very attractive. Some have messed up teeth, a mis-shapened head or just awkwardness embedded in their body structure. But they are a proud creature and seem to bare no shame. So all the power to them. I just try and make sure the don't try and lick me and spit on me and i'm good.

I guess you could shove me into one of these groups just like i did with all of my school. I mean whenever i write i try not to point out the obvious stereotypes in america but that wasn't the point of this blog. The point of the blog is that i don't belong to any of these groups. Sometimes i feel like i'm the lone visitor to this decaying and decrepit zoo. I'm the only one who doesn't seem to know if it's good to be animal or a visitor. I'm nothing like lion, elephants, emu's, llamas or monkeys. The closet thing i could be is the lone bearded dragon. But I don't have enough of the "I-DON'T-GIVE-A-SHIT" attitude because sadly i do give a shit. But you know what i really want to do? Is just get insisde ea. animals head and see what they're thinking. Just for a few seconds. Just to see if what i think they're thinking is turns out actually to be true and then i can happily place them in whatever stereotype I choose. I want to see if the lions are actually as proud, confident and full of themselves as they come off to be. I want to see if the way they act actually is who they are because i's put all my money on that being false. In that case maybe wanting to be an animal in a zoo is a bad thing. I think i'm just going to be content with being the lone visitor at this zoo, looking in on the only world these strange creatures have ever known.

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I just went and witnessed the miracle that is Enders game. I've always said that a movie is great when it makes you question your own life and this movie racked my brain. The realization that Ender is a character and played by an actor was something to conceptualize but also the magnitude of people that must have worked on this project for years is so hard to comprehend. The simplest things i had forgotten in this movie. When a movie is not great, there is no feeling afterwards. Almost a numbness me. But when it is great, my brain will not stop buzzing with so many emotions. It's hard for me even to form a comprehensible sentence right now more or less critically access this movie like a good critic would. But i am no critic, now am i? This movie had made me question my existence even more than before. But it also makes me want to achieve something. I want to learn everything. I want to learn martial arts and the art of defense, i want to fully understand all of the core subjects, i now want to become more cultured, i want to learn how to make a difference like so many of these actors are doing with their mind blowing performances.  This movie has left me with so many realizations. Like the fact i need higher education, but it needs to be specialized or it will be very difficult for me to learn and use my knowledge. I need to become more active, i need to stop focusing on my minuscule little school and start doing things with my life. Asa Butterfeild (Ender) is only one year older then me. He has already been in approximately 7 movies. That's absolutely insane. Who says i can't do that. I need to figure out what my passion is and stick with it. My lack of determination and will is not going to get me any where in life, so that needs to be fixed. I need to try and focus on the important things all the time. I need to stop procrastinating and actually try and physically remind myself to better myself. Either a note or something i need to get things moving. When you think about this movie? All of the acting, scores, directing, costume design, set design and especially the CGI put into this film..... is astronomical. It must have taken the size of a small town to create and perfect this movie. All of the work and effort put into this... i don't think i could do anything as big. Also the amount of talent and skill needed to complete all these feats. It's awe inspiring and this... this is why i love movies.

Who am i?

I don't even know. I don't even know where to start. I keep telling myself that all the superficial things in life aren't worth my time but i focus on them as much as everyone else. I keep trying to forget that i just can't talk to people it's not something i can do, but i keep trying, i keep pushing to be above the bar of normalcy. But if i actually said what i was thinking i wouldn't have any friends. I have to change how i think to be accepted anywhere. I have to dumb things down and then when i dumb things down to far, people point it out and then i constantly have to keep myself in check. I don't know if i like knowledge or if knowledge only hinders me. I don't know if what i know now means anything. I don't know if learning more actually with matter in the long one. I don't know if i should feel as alone as i am. I don't know if i should be looking for more people to hang around. Am i lonely? Should i care? Am i fun to be around? Am i annoying or bossy or just boring. Am i not good enough for the people in my school? Or am i so above everyone as i think i am? Is what i'm thinking actually correct? Are any of my theories about this earth even sane? Am i sane. I do i have an erge to share my petty problems with people. Is it because i'm secretly as needy as everyone else. I wish i could not care about people think about me. But it's so hard. It's so hard not to feel people's eyes boring into me. I could never be a public speaker, singer, actor or teacher. So that rules out all of my career choices up until now. But does that even matter? I've heard so many stories of people who've worked so hard and just have life punch them in the face. Who am i? Am i funny? Am i enjoyable to be around? Am i a fun-sucker? Am i the buzz kill of the party? Should i care about what my parents feel? Do i like drama? What are my interests? What are my passions in life? What type of people should i be hanging around with? How can i even question all these things when i haven't even lived a life yet. I haven't done anything adventurous i'm a little noob sitting at home. I need to go party and live a life. Should i even be partying are they even that much fun? Should i be studying. What is the right thing to do? and what makes the right thing right. Why do i even worry about all these things. I just wish my brain would shut up for like 10 secs. I can't even keep up with my thoughts long enough to write fluently. You have seen how i write you can tell my brain i running 100x as fast a my hands. All the things i'm good at everyone else is already 10x better then me. I guess i'll just have to try 10x harder to be better. Should i want to be better? Do i actually have "friends"? Is this really me? Who am i? And should i care?

Our Goverment

Wonders why we don’t have any money for anything important in this country? Three words: Pig Odor Research.  I wonder where 1.7 million dollars was wasted, oh yeah to PIG ODOR RESEARCH! And it’s not even for everyone it’s just for Iowa to improve their pig odor research facilities, and help pay those hard working employees, discovering new things about the odor of pigs. Here’s a thing they could study, where there life has gone . But now children, let’s not forget this research facility doesn’t actually exist.  So why are we spending 1.7 million dollars on it? That’s a good question.  Another good question is; why do all the states in this country want to have their own National Trade Centers? We all know they’re never going to have them. Also I’m pretty sure if we did waste our money on another trade center it wouldn't be in Montana,  Nebraska or Utah.  And today’s news the breaking story of thieves stealing copper wire (and our country spending 400k on that) hits headlines and the world’s first art energy studio was erected today. I don’t think anybody actually knew you could get energy from art because if we could I’m pretty sure we would all be energy dependent. Has energy dependency happened yet? I think not.  Then to top the whole ketchup and onion sundae off with a cherry. Congratulations congress you have successfully given $1,427,250 for the genetic improvement of switch grass also 2.1 million for the center for grape genetics. Awesome, pats on the backs for everyone. No it’s not like we could be using our money for good uses like schools and public services. So I’m guessing by the looks of these statistics America has money to burn. Whoever’s making the budget around here has the easiest job in the world because America is so self-sufficient and our banks are filled to the brim with money because thoose would be the only explanations for the people who are supposedly representing us to be wasting our money so frivolously.  Oh wait that’s not the case at all, now is it? The real situation here is we have a continuously rising debt ceiling, we are 60 trillion dollars in debt, and we have people making the laws that shouldn't have jobs running a country. I think a job more fitting for them would to be in the fast food service.  Maybe then they could be idiots and still be appreciated. Since only 12% of the people in America actually approve of what they’re doing I think all of them at this point in time can go suck eggs and we should find completely different people to try and figure out what to do with this country. Maybe it’s our election system or something, but the people who we've currently “picked” to make the laws in the country frankly suck and it’s not just me who thinks this.  Maybe they wouldn't say it as frankly but everyone else is thinking the same thing even those bow-zoos over in congress are thinking this.  They waste our money on fucking grapes and then they can’t even figure out why we have no money. Not even this, the fact that they don’t care, that’s the problem. They seem to not care that we will probably never pay off our debt and guess what they keep on doing. They keep spending money that isn't there. You can’t just go buy a jacket when your piggy bank is all empty, but they don’t seem to notice this. They just keep spending, adding all these wasteful things to laws, wasting our money, raising the US national debt (that if you've seen of lately never stops going up). When will this stop? How can we stop them?

Insignificance of the human race. 2.0

There's so many unknown answers in the universe. Some want to believe in a higher power ; someone or something that explains everything we can't explain and can't even being to grasp. Some want to fill this void with misinformation and false revelations of self-awareness. We create reasons and explanations for everything, for things that our brains aren't physically capable of making connections to. We are so inferior and so oblivious to this fact.........

We have all these things to distract us. To distract us from thinking fully about what we can see in front of us. TV internet, politics, radio, newspapers, books, music, inventions, paintings, drawings, poems, singing, performing, crafting, cleaning, decorating buying, selling. Basically anything we do that isn't "necessary" to our survival.(If you did not know the only things you need to survive per say is water, food, and air) is pointless. But why do we do these things? What is the purpose of these things? And why do we make so many things to fill our time when some can't even achieve the basics? We could build whatever we wanted, but it wouldn't last very long. We could sing whatever we please, but it will be forgotten. We could be the most influential person on the whole earth and it really wouldn't matter. Because the thing that you find so important, really isn't. Maybe to you it is. But to the whole universe; its nothing more then poppy cock. What does the universe care about equality or music or giant skyscrapers. It could tear it all down in one fail swoop if so pleased. But we still build up and up and up and up and we never once stopped and really questioned ourselves "does this really has a purpose in the whole scheme of things?". If you think about it our building's will crumble, paintings will disintegrate what we think are the great writings of our civilizations will mean nothing more then the delicate paper it is written on. If humans weren't here to control, contain and preserve what we find important. If the whole of the human race was exterminated today. What would care about all of our stupid things we've "accomplished". Nothing would care, everything on this world would go on with their lives contently. The creatures on this earth wouldn't be anymore effected by our disappearance then your food is when a fly lands on it. But we still have these things. These tasks to fill up our time and help us evade what is right in front of us. And that's that nothing does matter on this earth. Nothing we do will ever matter. And we go around caring so much about these materialistic and superficial things. We revolve our lives around the sole fact that we can entertain ourselves on something else. Something better, newer, prettier, softer, cleaner, faster. A simple example of this fact is hygiene. A big thing in all 1st world country's. It is not socially acceptable to not care about ones own self hygiene A part of this "important" ritual is shaving legs. There are little girls in my school who obsess over the fact that they have not shaved that day and then it becomes all they can think about it and it effects there life so much that i makes their emotions change (become shy and more reclusive). And some people would say that is horrible, young girls shouldn't be caring about how they look. I think we like that we can obsess over our bodies because it is something accessible and easy to understand. We love that we can distract ourselves with extremely simple things and almost procrastinate over everything else that is going on around them. You know what else falls into this category is knowledge. Our knowledge of this world is as superficial as you 63' tv. All of our math and social studies and ELA there just as pointless. There just something our society has conjured up so we aren't all complete unsocial freaks. So the younger generation can waste there time too just like the adults do at all of their menial jobs. Because we really need to know all that shit when all of us know we aren't going to use 50% of it. I'm not saying that i don't partake in these useless past-times. I do and i love them as much as the next person but i realized all of these things and.....

The bad thing is is that there's so many people who have lived on this planet and died and never once thought about this before they did. Or they didn't want to.

Insignificance of the human race.

There's so many unknown answers in the universe. Some want to believe in a higher power ; someone or something that explains everything we can't explain and can't even being to grasp. Some want to fill this void with misinformation and false revelations of self-awareness. We create reasons and explanations for everything, for things that our brains aren't physically capable of making connections to. We are so inferior and so oblivious to this fact.........
 We make our decisions solely off this high pedestal we've put the human race on. This high pedestal where our lives matter more than others. If you asked any of us we would say we are better than them. Not directly no. You would probably say that "The human race has higher thinking, that what sets us apart from every other creature on this planet." But what makes our thinking so much higher. If there was nothing to bother with a tree, no outside interference's to stunt its growth it could grow for a millennium if it wanted. A human couldn't do that, ever. Is that not higher? And we can rule over everything we find insignificant because it does not have its own voice. But those same people think everything has a soul and willing lets millions of animals be killed everyday for their own consumption. The fact we keep cows as food and cats as pets; Why is that? Because what are the physical differences between a cow and a cat. Well a cow is an ugly, smelly, large animal that will not snuggle on our lap and make us smile when we have had a bad day. Cats on the other hand are cute and "beautiful". We keep things because we think they are beautiful because it s nice to look at. If they are not pretty we dispose of them because then we can find more of a usage for them. Why do we own anything appealing at all? Why do we always dispose of the ugly things?
What make us so much better than anything on this planet? What makes us so worthy? I guess that's the problem because we can't not think like this. Our first reaction ,ever, is for ourselves. For fucks sake since we could talk we thought the universe revolved around us. (Heliocentric). It is permanently embedded in our brains to be the center of the universe  When the reality is we are so minuscule and insignificant. Even though we would like to think otherwise. I would love to know that everyone was nice and dandy and perfect to ea other., we all loved ea other respected ea. other, and sang campfire songs will eating s-mores. So we could worry about other things then superficial shit that we shove up our asses everyday to forget the next. But we all know that's a piece of bullshit. If we hold ourselves to such a high interval why don't we hold everyone else on such a high pedestal along with us. Not just thinking of oneself but thinking that the greater good of one group is better then that greater good of one person. There's more people now, that should make us care more about ea. other now right. We know nothing about walking, talking and breathing. We are insufficient in everyday possible. Trees have the nice life, when they evolved they didn't bother about the stupid things like walking and talking. They didn't even care about breathing. They have to exert such little effort to survive and then there's the human race always scarping at the bottom of the bowl. We have to move to find food excreting our energy sometimes until we aren't even alive anymore, we have to ,move and find water and we need that crucially to even function decently none the less proficiently, and we need to waste half of every calorie of energy we take in on the process of breathing.  Is that what makes us so much better? When trees sit their and let everything come to them. Sunlight, food and water. They have perfectly tuned their crucial body functions to this earth.  What has the human race done in the time given on this earth? Invented useless concepts that only are acceptable on this earth and below menial wastes of our time......
The bad thing is is that there's so many people who have lived on this planet and died and never once thought about this before they did. Or they didn't want to.